As I reflect back on the years of affairs and how many times I looked down at my wedding ring wondering what it “really meant” to me. As we went through one of the last affairs, I thought I wanted another wedding ring as that defined what my marriage was. In my mind E had defied everything it was suppose to mean. It wasn’t the ring that defined my marriage, it was the love I have for E that made the ring more special and the commitment to stay with him no matter what he was struggling with.
Today my mother and I were talking about my grandmothers wedding ring. My mother wants to wear it and yet it makes her miss my grandmother. My grandmother would’ve wanted her to wear it. It should remind her if the love that my grandmother had for my grandfather. The love that made her get up at 5:30 every single morning and fix him breakfast before work. The love that supported him through thick and thin. The faith she had that he was lifting her up in prayer and she would do the same for him. The trust she had in herself to stay by his side not matter what. That is what her purpose in life was, was to display her love for her husband. She loved well.
As I was caught up in the affair, being offended and jumping on the band wagon of “me, me, me” I did not think one time of what my grandparents displayed to me if what love was.
Struggles in marriage then are certainly not what they are now although it was still hard according to the times. There wasn’t a billboard of a naked woman that distracted men. Affairs were not as displayed then as they are now, pornography was not displayed in your local store and it was not acceptable for a lady to be seen with a man that wasn’t her husband. Values were different and so was the time. One thing that still remains the same is the value that Christ has for His children and the way He wants us to love.
Galatians 5:16-26 New American Standard Bible (NASB) 16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the flesh [a]sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you [b]please. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: [c]immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry,sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger,disputes, dissensions, [d]factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who [e]belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
He says to walk by the Spirit not by what we desire. You see, they didn’t have internet, Facebook, social media, cell phones that were easy to hide, erase text messages. Understand that I am not saying people did not have affairs then, I’m saying it was an easier choice to not have an affair. The temptations were not as they are today.
The spirit of love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Be understanding and love. It is the choice I made that this is what my wedding ring would mean to me, and it does.